The Ice Cream Story

Jessie jots...

The other day, Hushby and I hung out at Sebastian Joe's, quite well known for its homemade ice cream in Minneapolis. It was a cold day and we were hoping that they would offer discounted ice creams - at least they had this system when I used to visit it last year. Such that if it was below 40 F, then they would take 40% off the price. This time, they didn't offer it maybe cause it was spring in the making. Well we picked out two scoop of homemade ice creams anyway because you know, my sweet tooth can never say NO.

So I sat there, enjoying being in the city (again). I can't help but pay attention to the little kid opposite my seat as he scooped each spoonful of ice cream very carefully but greedily. He turned around and look at me. I cracked up as soon as he started grinning from ear to ear. His cheeks and nose was all covered with a mask of chocolate ice cream which he couldn't care less of. I thought, poor dad, he has got some work to do. His dad saw who his boy was smiling to, turned to me and jokingly said "No point cleaning him now". I just kept on laughing; it's like he knew what I was thinking.

Oh? Is mother instincts kicking in? While the boy kept me amuse, I started questioning if this is something I would let my son do? Would I let my children be all dirty and messy for them to experience trials and errors? Or would I feed them to encourage tidy table manners, be OCD-ish, constantly in check of germs and detox them with antibacterial wipes? I have no idea and I couldn't imagine.

Just as I was going through my motherly train of thoughts, I watched the little kid offered his dad a spoonful of ice cream. His dad said to him gracefully "No thank you... but that was very sweet of you".

I just went AWwwwwww What a sweet gesture for both father and son, don't you think? That made me smile and made me feel that life is not all that bitchy, even when it was below 10F outside because there I have it, living proof of wonderful, genuine nice people. For instance the Malaysian recent change - the election result didn't happen by chance. We obviously have a big proportion of highly motivated, positively intended, intellectual individuals who wanted to see a change in the political system and a future for themselves. Ok I digress, but why I said so? Because his dad is a Caucasian and the boy is Chinese. The Chinese boy called him dad and therefore, I know for sure they adopted the boy from China. As we all well know, Chinese can only have one child in a household. And to love a child not of your own, that's something to admire. Hushby also started giggling, being a nosy eavesdropper he was. And I told him, what would your and my mom say when we offered her our food?

"NO NEED, finish it up yourself!" OR if you really want the Malaysia version, "NO.. DON WANT LA... don't make me fat ah!"

And then of course she would go on and ramble...

"You know or not, those Bosnia kids don't have enough food to eat and you are here with so much food but don't want to eat it. You don't know how fortunate you are to live through day and night no need to worry about food... "

OR

"If you don't finish your food tonight, I will give the back alley dog your food and then you go to bed hungry."

OK SCARY but that helps with not being a choosy eater.

I'm sure that just not with my mom. All Chinese moms do that!

And I'm sure that doesn't come as a surprise to us from a Chinese culture but the Americans would go, goodness why do Chinese always sound like their arguing? That's how it is and it funny how we live through it day by day without realizing that until you get out of the culture. 

In my opinion if you allow me, Chinese culture has always been less concern of their manners within the family. If you're being too nice to a family member, they would think some thing is not right in the head. Strangely, Chinese are more concern with their manners and how it appear to outsiders, if you agree with me, such that calling UNCLE and AUNTIE to all dad's golf friends and colleagues, regardless of their relation to you, is very, very important and necessary. If you don't do that by first eye contact, your parents will smack you in the butt or give you the "you going to get the smack" look immediately, which by then you have to shout out "UNCLE! AUNTIE!" just to exhibit good manners and what your parents have taught you.

But when a family member say "No thank you, that's very sweet of you"... that would send chills down everyone's spine. Funny, no?

Glamour

Jessie jots...

Which dress do you like better on her? Don't just take note of the cleavage part, will ya?





Wouldn't this picture theme up with feel good song like Nelly Furtado's I'm like a Bird?

More Flyers

Jessie jots...

My creative juice has been flowing hard. I have 3 more flyers to do this weekend and guess what, on top of my 24 hour drawing, save-the-date card contest by Minted.com, scholarship application, Illustrator project, Art History 5 paper, 4 different bowls to make, 15 hours of work per week... my creative juice is coming to a halt. Dry. Not even dripping. ARGH Wish me luck on that... plus not being able to sleep lately is not helping either. -_-

Critiques will be much appreciated. Good or bad - doesn't matter because they only make me better. Honest ones ok?

One Door Closes, Another Wide Open

Jessie jots,

Like everybody else, I have my ups and downs as well. Two weeks ago, I experienced one of the worse moments in my life which left me feeling horribly sick, upset, guilty, angry and what not. I didn't have control over what happened the other day nor can I make it better. I guess it's just one of those DOWN moments you just have to live with. When that happen, I always find myself losing control over the other things I have control of, which in turn make things worse. Of course, I screwed up all the chances I had, such that suddenly a call for an interview after the much anticipated application for a new opportunity came in the middle of this whirlpool seemed so bleak to me. I just couldn't do it, which hit me hard afterwards because I began to see myself as a person who either can't think on her feet or a person who can't work under pressure. Just somebody no one wants to hire.

So there I was, wallowing in self-pity for a week until I finally got up and running again. Once in a while, dark clouds hover over me but it's alright, I can handle that. I do ponder on the thought of why the heck I tried so hard in everything I do? Only to have people tell me "take it easy, don't pressure yourself". I was given so many of these laid back comments that I decided to just make a new resolution for myself - that is to be more relax by taking things easy and see myself with a set of kinder eyes. Oh and watch more movies.

Just when I thought all my past efforts were going to waste with my new resolution, today, I found myself standing proud that it didn't go down the drain. A phonecall led to a pleasant surprise and kind of flattering in a sense. They offered me a new position that fits me even better. I was so ready to say YES but I knew I had to think about it because in my book, time is limited. Having said that, the new offer left me even more confuse with my new outlook in life. Not long ago, I just managed to kick the dark clouds away and found kind of liking the mundane things I've been doing regularly. With the new hope, I felt somewhat reluctant to let go of my comfortable spot I achieved. I've worked hard for it, I'm cosy now and now I have to peel my comfy blanket for this? But it's an opportunity I didn't have to attend an interview for. They made me an offer - how do I resist that? The rate only differs by a couple quarters, but chances of growing in the new place is potentially higher. It is just that the working at night schedule and possibility of not enjoying the new place is what worries me.

Questions starts pouring in. Heck, who cares about the snow storm hitting us tomorrow. Can I do it? Will I fail and fall back to square one? Will they be upset?

I'm breaking my new resolution already*sigh*. I've been repeatedly discourage to do what I used to do but this new hope gave me the encouragement and in some ways, reaffirm that my sweat and blood was well worth. I guess there is no right or wrong answers to this issue but it's more of a question that IS IT appropriate or inappropriate for my well being at this moment? A lot to think about this weekend.

Vanitas themed Illustrator project

Jessie jots...

My first time with Illustrator, people! It's definitely not a work I'm proud of but it's my first and I thought it is kind of cute. I enjoyed it.

For those who has Illustrator, it's really not difficult to do create this. It's even easier to learn when you have an instructor who resembles Brad Pitt. Teehehe! Not like I would go GA GA for him, I've never been a big fan of Brad Pitt. But he's really a nice, dedicated teacher.

That's Andrew. Look like Brad Pitt to you? hehe!

Let's see, what I learn from Mister Jolie? Try to use the Pen tool and click on the line like the one on the watch and create that silhoutte. Once you create the (enclosed) shape, click the color palette to fil whatever color you like and you can disable the outline too if you want. You can also change its opacity for the color you choose. Just like you see with the bottle, I change its opacity to 50% so that it looks like it's made of clear plastic and I edited the Fill to 80% for the liquid part to look more solid and opaque. So, try out if you have time and you'll have fun as much as I did.

A "Marie Claire" moment

Jessie jots...

I went to get my chiropractor treatment today and its down in Sartell, about 15 minutes drive from my place. As I was about ready to leave the center, I walked pass a bulletin board and took a couple steps back because....



I SAW....... THIS!





My design? In some random place? Errr... off campus?? ARGH I didn't know my flyers (or actually more like the Women's Center's) would be hanging off campus. How cool! :D
I was aesthetic for a moment. You know, it feels as if when you walk pass a newspaper stand and you thought you saw your own face on the cover of Marie Claire? Then you took a couple steps back, disbelieve but confirm that it was you? Ok I may be exaggerating but that's how it feels to me!


So, I went up to the lady in the counter and asked her where did she get the Women That Rock flyer from. She went blank at me. I knew she was going to do that. She never care much for me. Yeah, she has been nice when I walk in for my appointment, always the person who would tell you about the weather but after that, PMS symptoms kick in. I've always been afraid of her since PMS strike so often but not at that "Marie Claire" moment. I've got guts!


"It's confidential. Will be a privacy issue if I tell ya"


"I work there *Smiling away*"


"Nope, I can't tell you"


*A lil sad*

"But I designed it!"


Suddenly it just seem a little surreal. She wouldn't tell me even if I would have to punch her. I didn't say the last sentence out loud though. It's only for me to know and for whoever knows me.

YEY! *Pat in the back*

Graphic Design in the making?

Jessie jots...

Well I'm still quite an amateur but I'm finally learning how to play around with Photoshop and fully utilize some of its wonderful function. I was lucky enough to be given the opportunity to design and that people trusted in my taste is a huge thing for me. Here are two upcoming events that I'm working with. So if you're checking me out from SCSU, please attend any of these events. Thanks!

Memories

Jessie jots...

In response to Azleena, Ying San and Jane's blog posts, here's my version of what teenage years was like in Convent Bukit Mertajam. I felt obligated that I should share my part too.

Lets start out with a picture of 5 Sc 1. I knew that the 5 Sc 2 peeps would be displeased with why they were number 2 when they are the top students. Sure enough, I see one of your reaction in the post. LOL Naturally, I just fit into my class without thinking I should be in number 2 because number 1 sounds good to me. Oh well, many years later... nobody cares if you even pass SPM. So why bother with class ranks.

Here you can see our famous Head Prefect, Ooi Jan Lyn (I agree with you Azleena, I see yellow spots in her). And our very own soft spoken, always girly Yow Nian Yi and MOI, wasn't having a good hair day obviously. Oh and that Puan Jamilah, was always so obnoxious with us. She hissed at me when she found out I got Grade 1 for my SPM result, saying "Selalu main-main pun boleh dapat Gred satu". Alah.. jeles ke? lol

Another one of the rare pictures I have of us in school uniforms. I was so glad I packed this in my bag when I left. If I didn't bring these pictures with me, I would have forgotten how everyone looked like nor myself. I can remember faces but forgotten names. However, I can point out a few - Hong Tsui-Han, no glowing glasses this time. Su Ying getting some attention it seems. She was always one of the tallest and get to stand at the back. Azleena sister is in this picture too. Miss Shu Yen smiling widely over there, and still look the same to me from Jane's picture. And oh hey, where's Jessie? hehe! Ya, I get to sit down this time. Was a secretary for our Kelab Perpustakawan.
I took art tuition with a High School teacher at that time. Little did I know, I was already attending to my calling in art. LOL yeah right. But I stubbornly went on to get a degree in Psychology, not like I was bad at it but it was just not my cup of tea. Anyway, my art teacher from Taman Bukit Indah, Uncle Koay secretly submit my artwork to the International Japan-Malaysia art competition. Unlike Uncle Koay, he called me one day to inform me about my work having won third prize for its age category and told me to attend the ceremony. I was 17 in this picture, posing next to my artwork at the Dewan Sri Pinang. Looking very delighted not of the winning mind you but I get to skip school for the receiving the award. That was awesome-r than getting an award! HEHE

The next picture is kind of off topic but still in the context of being a teenager. I thought some of you might be interested to see what we do as rascals. Su Ying and I spent a lot of time together. Mainly because my sister was quite a party pooper when she was younger, so Su Ying was my best answer to boredom. Here, we are at Cameron Highland. I remember driving my dad's car recklessly and stumbled across a field of PUDINA, yep... you got it, Mint leaves. As a veggie lover and that we eat food of all kind, we jumped out of car like we won a million dollars. My youngest sister took this pic of us, stealing some of the mint leaves for later consumption. We had it with sambal as ulam... man I can still recall the fresh taste of the leaves .

Here are some kawan-kawan (friends) of all kinds at their best post and best suit. These pictures were later publish in the year book.

Oops... the last one is Kok Khai from High School. Don't think he put on fake boobs to get into Convent, did ya? I thought you might be interested to see what he looked like at his prime time.

These pictures easily brings me far back, down the memory lane. I can't help but to be emotional about it. I didn't spend the 12 years in Convent Bukit Mertajam like most of you did, but I have to admit, it was the best school I've ever been. I was in Convent BM from Standard 1 to 3 and left to other states in Malaysia because of a change in my dad's career. I lost contact with everyone I knew. I mean, back then, phone is expensive and e-mail is of non-existence. Marlina Sara used to call me when I was in Terengganu but she got scolded for the expensive phone bills. So we had to stop chatting. :P

Then I went back to Penang when I turned 14. At Form 2, I came to know some familiar faces again - Jan Lyn, Josephine, Ziying, Shuh Jiuan, Aida, and others. But we were all too distant to be friends out of a sudden. I was very vulnerable, no longer as flexible as I was being sociable. I still make some good friends though. And started rolling ever since.

**************************************************************

Naturally, when speaking of high school, I would be recalling fond memories of my dearest friend, Soon Chia Yee. Her maiden name is Nelly, or at least her parents call her that. We used to car pool, do our homework, cycle, jog, trek, call boys.... basically, do everything together. When we graduated from high school, we enrolled at KDU together. We would see each other everyday for lunch break, she would drive me to shop for her latest quest in fashion and we would hang out at the Foyer in KDU just watching people and secretly dissing at the way they dress. Oh those poor people.

The picture below has a long story to tell. It was a memorable night for me. It was a life changing night. I was begged to go to this KDU ball night back in year 2000. I remember not wanting to go because I was too lazy to dress up. Chia Yee pestered me. She didn't accept any of my excuses. I told her I don't have any clothes but she would pester me until I have no excuses to give. When I told her I don't have any car to go shopping, she came at my doorstep with her car and helped me look for an outfit. We probably had a few weekends where we were just looking for MY outfit, instead of hers. She didn't even have a chance to look for her shoes, which is why she was wearing mine.

A lot of weird things happened that day. To cut the long story short, we managed to get to the Ball Night in time with an outfit, Chia Yee thought fit me best. I can't say I am the best fan of her fashion sense but ah whatever, we had so much fun dressing up and giggling all night long. The ball night came with an intermittent. So everyone got up and went out of the hall to get some pictures of the scenic beachside. I got lost in between when the girls were rushing out. I stood there lost, searching high and low for them but couldn't find anyone I knew. I stood there in between the people for quite a few good second, when suddenly the crowd quiet down as it disperse in front of me. As people walked away, my eyes led me to the empty spot and led my eyes to our very own Harvard-look Yew Wai dressed in his well-made tux with a polished James Bond look that was to die for. It was the night, I saw him at a different angle. It was the day I wanted to give him a chance.

He came up to me and say hi, and chatted a little. Since he was so well-groomed, I felt like such a tramp for wearing a see-through blouse. I got so nervous, my hands were cold and I avoid his eye contact hoping that someone would find me and excuse me from his electrified, sizzling eyes. I kept looking for the girls but found myself locked-into his handsomely all-white crested, plain straight enamel-ed smile.

To no avail, no one came to rescue me. So I have no choice but to excuse myself in like a 10 second chat but it felt like the longest time because I was so mesmerized with that smile. The rest of the story was history.

If not for Chia Yee pestering me to go, I wouldn't have seen Yew Wai at a different light. I wouldn't have fell for him. I wouldn't have any chance to meet him. It was really fated.

Below is a picture of Cheng Vern Vern, Chia Yee and I at our table.

The day before she left for Perth, I drove her out for supper late at night. We talked about the future, what it's going to be like now that everyone was going overseas. We talked about who will have kids first and who would be the best mom. And as usual, we laughed and giggle at the silliest jokes. But that's how we kept our friendship alive.

When I drove her home that night, it was quite an uncanny experience. She was very quiet, unlike other times when she was normally very optimistic and bubbly. She broke down in tears when we arrived at her house. It was my first time seeing her so emotional. I looked at her strangely, thinking she was just being silly. She said to me "I am so afraid I can't see you anymore". I shrugged off at her remark, I said "You will get to see me... we have holidays!" She continued to cry, and told me she will miss me. We bid farewell and I being naive, went home without thinking twice of what she said. Of course now, it made sense.

I like this last picture of her a lot. This is how I remember her to be - sweet and bubbly, a person who cares and shares. Sometimes I blame myself that I influence her to go to Perth but I know it was not entirely me to be blamed. Chia Yee left the world in year 2001 and I must admit, I still grieve over her. She gave me dreams every now and then that it's always so vivid, I can remember what she said and what usually happened next, is always so true. One incident, she told me in my dreams about her brother's wedding and that her dad bought a new car, that is black in color. I didn't think much of it until my mother, who frequent her house area, saw that black color car parked outside her house. My mother told me about it and later, also acknowledged her brother's wedding - that's when I started to believe my dreams were not just dreams.

Last Saturday I had the priviledge to see a psychic. Yew Wai and unintentionally stumbled across a lady psychic who happened to be at a convention center to promote what she does. I thought it'll be interesting to see if some of my dreams were true. I asked the psychic, "Do you see anyone with me?" She replied, "Your friend connected to you through school said she shared a lot of giggles with you." She assured me that Chia Yee is with me all the time, through presence and in dreams. The psychic later went on to say, "She said she miss you a lot".

The moment she said we always giggled, my tears started streaming off my face profusely. I got too emotional to talk, I had to walk away.

I miss you too Chia Yee.

I apologize for writing an emotional entry but this incident just happened last weekend. And my memories is still fresh from that assurance. Thank you for your understanding.

Jen's night out with me

Jessie jots...

Well I've been meaning to type something in my blog for the longest time. I've been so occupied, time passes by so fast. Lets see, the last entry was oh goodness, don't mention it. Anyhoo! Here's something.

Something everyone should know about Jen.

Jen Jenks used to be a roommate of mine. We share a lot of things in common - from Counting Crows concert to good conversation and good musics. She even helped me to move all my stuff in a her small little white car that is now dented from senseless deers. In a nutshell, she is the best roommate I've ever had! Like all good things never last, we parted the end of Spring 2003 after a semester cohabiting, met up once in Fall 2003 and lost touch since then. So meeting her last Thursday night was good for me and you're right Jen, we picked up where we left 5 years ago and it was so interesting playing catch up.

Our pizza date (Man, that was really good Jen. Yew Wai chomp all my leftovers!) went by quickly as we dissed harmlessly about the men in our lives... hehe! but isn't that what's girls night out is suppose to be? And our over-the-25-hump body didn't like to keep up with late night clubbing anymore and that getting intoxicated seem so yesteryear.

We bid farewell and hop into our car that is parked (coincidently) opposite of each other's. It was snowing cats and dogs if I may say that - supposely an inch of snow fall as forecast tales tell but with a glance of the sky, it looked more like a snow storm. The weather threaten me that night - I needed much luck. For one, I've got an eyesight of a mole and two, driving in the snow with a wiper that only sweeps rather than wipe?! My worst nightmare is happening.

I started the engine right away for it to warm up. I waited for my car to warm up to melt some of the frost. I looked into my rear mirror and to my dismay, a block of innocent white snow covered the back of my car. Disgruntled, I force myself to get out and took the scraper with me.... with a vengeance. I walked out and there I saw, Jen doing the same thing - scraping the snow off her car like I would be doing too! She and I laughed. Aren't you reminded of what it takes to drive in Minnesota. LOL Don't move here if you're ever considering it.

I drove after the snow fell. As soon as it stopped, the road became icy and along my way back, at least gee, I lost count... maybe 10 cars ended up at the ditch, slowing the traffic to only 10 mph. It was a horrible 1.5 hour trip home. I was shaken. My eyes were so tired as I had to peel it open for the car in front of me. As a mole, I can't see the lines on the road, neither the signs that much. I had to depend on the car opposite me for where he's going. So if he went fast, I slow down and catch up with another car. Boy, was I a parasite. That's how bad it is. That's why I adore people with great eyesight. But why does it has to snow that night? Of all the nights I didn't have to drive... it has to snow that night! HMPF.

At the end, you're right, your friend Jessie is fine. I came home in one (LARGE) piece with some leftover pizzas on my hand. Puzzled Hushby took care of my complains about the wiper. He has to change to something of better quality or else I would cane him. You got me... cane him.

So Jen, if you're wondering what happened that night... I got home shivering not because it was too cold, but it was scary. When I brake the car too tightly, it swerved left and right, only encouraging me to lose grip. Luckily we had new tires on, and driving like a 80 yr old grandma helps. Good thing too I also learn to brake intermittently from the flickering red lights before me.

Other than that horrifying experience, I was glad we met up, Jen! Good luck to all your wedding preparation and congratulations to both of you. We'll meet again I'm sure. :)