Balloon Cat?

Jessie jots...

"Watch out! I'm about the landddd...."

Self revelation

Jessie jots...

Wow, where did October go? Zoom by in a nick of time didn't it? I had a lot of fun albeit sick and coughing on my deathbed. It was Halloween last week and it was totally the time of the year to get really freak out and be unrestrained! We didn't get to dress up, nor did we go to any haunted houses for that matter. Hushby and I watched TV more often than not on Halloween and I love it! With so many horror TV shows, we sat down on the couch almost every night, getting scared by ghost stories. Even stories about Sasquatch is starting to freak me out too! Which never happen before. We'd get goosebumps shutting down the lights... it's so silly. But the highlight of our Halloween time was watching Ghost Adventure Live on Friday night for 7 hours! And I have to say, all that anticipation from Zach, Nick and Aaron's ads about being locked down in an abandon asylum DID NOT disappoint the viewers! Just as the show was over, Hushby continued to tell me ghost stories from his hometown and my goosebumps stood the whole night, I think some of my hair might have fall off. Today is the "post-mortem" of the Live show and we're really, really looking forward to watch it at 9pm. Hopefully we'll get to see some interesting findings from their LIVE ghost hunting experience. It's been a long time since I get this excited and I can feel it's really good for me - to psych up that creative section of my brain especially! lol

Midterm is over, phew... workload is still heavy but at least I can maintain the level of sanity as normal. After hours and hours of trying to catch up with my work from missing out in class, the stress level has calm down. And I'm seeing the fruits of labor now, which is really rewarding.

If there's anything I learn over the course of 3 months in school, is that I am starting to let loose and let my mind imagine, and go wild any time it is possible. I realized I've put up a wall and block that creative side of me since young because I thought it was unnecessary. Nobody took interest in rampant, crazy, nonsensical thoughts - I mean, why would they anyway? Who cares about when you drew a little mermaid on a blank sheet of paper, swimming among regular people? Or who took note of the color pencil details on the kangaroo's tail? Or when you drew a distorted fork because the little mermaid was trying to bend it? Nobody. In fact, that's what they call 'immature' or 'crazy' because, it was a waste of time and it really is back then. Hitting the book was more needed than drawing and coloring on several blank sheets of paper! When I have kids, there's nothing more I want in them than to cultivate the creativity and to encourage self-expression - in comparison with the, lack of a better work, uptight, proper Asians like me. I guess now we're seeing more and more creative individuals popping up in this generation such that you find more people working in creative field as interior designer, event manager, actors, writers... and it's a good sign to the development of a provocative society. Don't you think?

I realized too that hanging on to everyday worries, and all that hoping and trying to solve problems really gets in the way of being myself. Not that I am trying to be that carefree and brush away unsolved issues but I feel like, letting go the "you think you had it" thought and just go with the flow is really the key to maintain that normalcy in your brain. Working against the 'flow' brings too much negativity, hence the headache, stress, and health problems ensued.

I am really appreciating the way how studies and creativity is bringing back my 'soul'. I remember being fifteen and seventeen, I was creative and a very happy and go lucky individual. I am now that again, not all and it is already so much fun! Nothing beats going through self revelation on October coz you kinda have a reason to let loose, right?

Now I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving! :) with a new hairdo... Yeah!

How fast does your hair grow?

Jessie jots...

A shocking discovery - my hair grows an inch, a month. Is that normal? Nothing to be envious of though... although yes, the pro is that I can change my hairstyle more frequently than most people. The con? I can't maintain a hairstyle I like for more than six weeks. And not to mention the damage done in my pocket, has already cause a burning sensation on my thigh now.

This time though... a haircut is really in dire need. My hair was getting really coarse from previous dye that involves a slight bleach. After three months, I've went back to the more brunette/reddish/violet color that I'm more comfortable with. It feels more like me.

Also, just a little update, I've been starting to use Mary Kay Time Wise product and although it has only been three days, I've seen a whole lot of wonders done to the skin! I can't believe the result! And I can't believe it is my skin, my actual skin! I'm so excited, am looking forward to what it can do for me in a month.

Notice the skin difference from Month 2 to Month 3... I hope it's not just the lighting effect but the bumpy surface on my skin is actually gone now!

If there's anything I spent on way too much - it's haircut and skin care products. What is/are yours?

Hands and Feet

Jessie jots...

One of the few things I am proud of now in my drawing portfolio is some the hands drawings and foot drawings below. I have finally learn to draw and be very careful with the decisions every pencil strokes make on a blank canvas. Not only does it take time to practice but I think the secret to knowing what you draw is to understand what is between and beneath the skin as well as be focus to what you're observing. It's quite beneficial to me now at busy times like these because contour drawing (one definite line drawing) can be kind of meditative, hence eases my mind.

With this work, you'd think I can earn myself a good grade in class but that's not true. Mr Brad Coleman has very high expectation and he grades critically. I am nowhere near to an A now after yesterday's sketchbook grading which I did poorly in cos' I only did sketches but apparently, he wanted more than sketches. Prrttt! However, here's adding to my portfolio, hopefully with this foundation, there's better drawings in the near future.

First hand drawing

Second hand drawing

Third time is the charm

Top left is my foot but the rest is Hushby's foot, which has not look any better... after a pedicure of course! LOL

Foot cramp after this. Ouch.

The Current Adaptation

Jessie jots...

OK... let's see, I haven't been updating anything that is none art-related lately, do I? It's getting a little dry here with all that homework updates. hehe

If you've met anyone who is in the art related field, they will tell you that they don't have a life. And it's true, it is hard to carve out the time just to enjoy a good heartwarming meal, your favorite Project Runway TV show, or just spend time with your loved ones. I am now officially that person, no life - just glued to my laptop like a baby and its pacifier.

By no means, I'm complaining. I love it every second being busy but of course once a week, I enjoy being alone too. I like taking in the solitude when needed because the next day, it's all full of chaos and stress again.

Last week, I fell sick for about 3 days. Hushby got it worse - he was sick from Wednesday til Sunday... so he just slept the whole time. That said, we didn't do much. Except that the workload was all on me, on top of having to complete my assignments which was due for midterm this week. It is really stressful at times like these, with no help from friends or family.

However, we're both enjoying every minute being independent. If anything, it gives us a sense of accomplishment and it helps us to move forward and be motivated. When we get discourage, we like treating ourselves with little things like dining out to some fancy restaurant. We do this more often now that I'm occupied and worn out... especially on Friday nights. With a good glass of cocktail and good food, it helps us to unwind. Some people may think we celebrate too much with food or we're a bit obsess with food, but that's what spark our relationship anyway - food was our cupid.

Here's us dining at Hapa J's in San Clemente on one of our Friday nights. The restaurant served fusion Hawaiian food but I went for the more authentic Hawaiian luau plate and boy was it delicious! I can't get enough of it.

And as you can see, make up is essential at times like these. To cover up all the stress marks is clearly needed. I was tired that night and really needed some perk-me-up look, so I blow my hair up for volume too. My overall look at the moment is nothing short of looking a seaweed - unkempt dark roots hair now two inches long grow before the lighten strands and my skin going pale now that the weather is turning Brrrrr... indeed, a salon visit is necessary one of these days! I try to fit in exercise two to three times a week but it's not always feasible now that it is cold but its mostly wet and breezy. Hence, the waistline has now expanded.

Aside from struggling to look proper and put together, I am struggling to catch up on homeworks that are due every week. Like I told somebody (I can't remember who), I'm signed up for six class. Each course meets once a week. On Monday and Wednesday, I have two classes, that are each four hours long. It adds up to eight hours long of staring at the computer, ON TOP of having to spend two hours on the road driving back and forth. Sometimes when homework gets a little overwhelming, I don't do any cooking at all let alone blog.

These days though, my study/work schedule is quite on track now that I have got the hang of things. Also, with the new set up work desk JUST FOR ME, I am more motivated than ever to work on my stuff rather than to procastinate. I love it, not that it's just in white but I love it how I can spread all my things across the table and not have to worry to keep my stuff when it's time to eat. Right, I used to work on the dining table but thanks to Ikea, we can afford a dependable, stable desk like below. You can expect to see me here most of the time working on my projects, either bending over 90 degrees for that ab-crunches perspective drawing 'workout' or sucking on my 'pacifier' for more computer designing job.

Lastly, who am I to forget our miss lillle Pipi. Well, she is not that little anymore and she's getting more and more clever now - especially with what she can and cannot do at home such that she knows I allow her to climb onto the bookshelves and not the kitchen counter. At 7pm, a time we usually arrive home, she would wait for us on the window sill. Once she sees us (which I'm still amaze how she can recognize us from far), she would meow and quickly jump down to run to the door and greet us with her fuzzy fur. Once we step inside, she will lead us to her food bowl and eats it. The last part still keeps me wondering - why she makes us follow her to eat, I don't know. Haha But all in all, she is a happy, healthy big kitty kat now. Though still a kitten at heart, she's as playful as ever, still loves to bite people's sock (it's so embarrassing when I have guest over) and still love to catch flies and eat them.

By the way, just to throw it out there: I am currently obsess with Sixpence None the Richer. I don't know why I can't grow beyond 1999. With all the songs that had play and ring in my ears, I still go back all my 90s songs. It is me or the music that is just that good?

Bouncing Ball

Jessie jots...

Life has to go on... I'm moving on. We all learn something new every day and I'm learning how to switch off what's negative and take in the positive.

So I just uploaded a movie on board here. Never in a million years I think I will learn how to animate digitally. Imagine me going bananas several times in the library and turning into a red tomato.. yup, not pretty. For this project which we have work over the week but didn't really learn how to render until last Monday, has made me spent 8 hours completing a 9-second show of the ball bouncing using Maya. I came out of the library, dehydrated. I DIE... go bananas, and even eat bananas! I will never be an animator... but I secretly enjoy looking at the finish product and kinda pat myself at the back for meeting all of the requirements but of course, lacking the wow factor cos' I am a graphic designer. hehe

Have a good weekend!

Traumatized

Jessie jots...

It's been a few days now and I'm still traumatized. It was Friday, at 5.20pm. Half an hour before that, I call it quit with a frustrating moment, again with Maya. It was a long, long week for me... so I was looking forward to kick off my shoes and indulge on some TV time for the weekend. Hushby and I planned to dine out after he gets off from work. So when I picked him up driving from school, we head home to freshen up for dinner.

Hushby took the wheel and we chat about our day as usual but just as he turned right onto Del Obispo, there was a slight jam. We couldn't move for a minute or two and it was unusual for that to happen at a 40 mph street. Just two cars in front of us was some black smoke coming off from a small trailer that is parked by the street. I thought it was an explosion. Hushby still continued talking and I stopped him, questioning him about the smoke. The black smoke immediately led my eye down to the trailer's broken back... and I was shock! I told Yew Wai to slow down, knowing that it can be serious.

It was not just dented, the smashed wall pushed in and I could see through the trailer. I knew it wasn't an explosion then. Still moving slowly, avoiding the accident scene... I look further and below the trailer was a motorcycle, smashed into pieces. I couldn't tell the source of the smoke but I knew it just happened as there was a man standing with his arms wide open, looking so shock, he was obviously shaken. Left to the motorcycle was a body on the ground, it was of a man's whose body parts I couldn't make sense off. I knew he was wearing jeans and I saw the helmet but it was beyond my understanding how everything was off. The scene was bloody, and things seems blurry after I saw it. Yew Wai put his phone down when he saw the two ladies pulled up to the scene. One trying to call the police, the other took a piece of cloth to cover the body. They were quick to act, but I was completely shock and shaken from then on.

When my visions got blurry, Yew Wai told me to stop looking. It was gruesome with the details he saw. He made sense of it immediately but I lost my senses, feeling horrible later. It was a sick to the stomach feeling... then there was all these questions running through my head. Did he die? Yew Wai said he saw the man still breathing. How it happened? Was he a reckless motorcyclist? The trailer was parked on a parking spot, how did he not see it?

Then we read this article online. And felt even worse.

I try to just leave the scene and move on. But it has been 5 days, and I'm still haunted by the scene, the possibility of getting crash, the reckless drivers on the road... all that is affecting me. We've even avoided taking that road now but it was useless, my mind is still playing the scene over and over again

I want to let go but I don't know how. How do you move on? What do you do?