Unforgivable Unions

Yesterday I learned...

  • A couple who had wanted to divorce each other, is now trying to work on their marriage and reconnect.
On the basis that the husband had been philandering and been known to leach out her savings.

  • A couple we knew since our college days is getting married.
Knowing full well, and having had witnessed him with our eyes that he had always been cheating for the last 10 years. And he also has another foreign wife.

I mean, come on, do these ladies seriously think they will ever change the spots of their leopard?

My first reaction?

Disgusted. It upsets me.

There's not an ounce of happiness I have for these people even though it's suppose to be a happy occasion as with all unions. I don't know what I should say to them. I feel uncomfortable as they put themselves into deeper sh*t. To me, it's like looking at another person, willingly getting sucked into the quick sand and I want to help them but I had to stay away to not obstruct the process.

I mean, what would you do?

Do you congratulate the couples and then feel horrible after? That you faked it, allowing them to think you "approved" of their marriage?

Or do you NOT congratulate them, ignore and go on with your own life, letting them think you're an idiot for passing judgment they don't deserve?


Jen W. said...

Chances are these couples already know people are going to pass judgment on them, their situation and choices. Personally, it would all depend on how well I knew the person and have a heart to heart voicing your concern. Ultimately in they end it is that persons choice and your choice to associate with them or not and to just be there for them when they "come out of the fog".

"People become what they expect to become" M. Gandhi

Jessie C said...

Jen: I absolutely agree with you. Thanks for putting it into perspective. I have already voice out my concern for couple A but to no avail. I agree with being there for them when they "come out of the fog" but for now, not associating ourselves with them is best.

Wynne Prasetyo said...

tragic relationships happen. if these couples are people relatively close to you then there's nothing wrong with having a heart-to-heart conversation to tell them how you actually feel, without making them feel like being judged or having their personal lives intruded by you. nonetheless sometimes what we can do is just stay back and let they learn their own lessons.

Devon said...

Cool blog! x

Jessie C said...

Thanks Wynne for the insight. I've done my part to voice out my opinion but of course, I wouldn't be upset as I am if they would have listen to my advise. Staying away from other people's business is best.

Hello Devon, welcome :)