11/06/2009

Self revelation

Jessie jots...

Wow, where did October go? Zoom by in a nick of time didn't it? I had a lot of fun albeit sick and coughing on my deathbed. It was Halloween last week and it was totally the time of the year to get really freak out and be unrestrained! We didn't get to dress up, nor did we go to any haunted houses for that matter. Hushby and I watched TV more often than not on Halloween and I love it! With so many horror TV shows, we sat down on the couch almost every night, getting scared by ghost stories. Even stories about Sasquatch is starting to freak me out too! Which never happen before. We'd get goosebumps shutting down the lights... it's so silly. But the highlight of our Halloween time was watching Ghost Adventure Live on Friday night for 7 hours! And I have to say, all that anticipation from Zach, Nick and Aaron's ads about being locked down in an abandon asylum DID NOT disappoint the viewers! Just as the show was over, Hushby continued to tell me ghost stories from his hometown and my goosebumps stood the whole night, I think some of my hair might have fall off. Today is the "post-mortem" of the Live show and we're really, really looking forward to watch it at 9pm. Hopefully we'll get to see some interesting findings from their LIVE ghost hunting experience. It's been a long time since I get this excited and I can feel it's really good for me - to psych up that creative section of my brain especially! lol

Midterm is over, phew... workload is still heavy but at least I can maintain the level of sanity as normal. After hours and hours of trying to catch up with my work from missing out in class, the stress level has calm down. And I'm seeing the fruits of labor now, which is really rewarding.

If there's anything I learn over the course of 3 months in school, is that I am starting to let loose and let my mind imagine, and go wild any time it is possible. I realized I've put up a wall and block that creative side of me since young because I thought it was unnecessary. Nobody took interest in rampant, crazy, nonsensical thoughts - I mean, why would they anyway? Who cares about when you drew a little mermaid on a blank sheet of paper, swimming among regular people? Or who took note of the color pencil details on the kangaroo's tail? Or when you drew a distorted fork because the little mermaid was trying to bend it? Nobody. In fact, that's what they call 'immature' or 'crazy' because, it was a waste of time and it really is back then. Hitting the book was more needed than drawing and coloring on several blank sheets of paper! When I have kids, there's nothing more I want in them than to cultivate the creativity and to encourage self-expression - in comparison with the, lack of a better work, uptight, proper Asians like me. I guess now we're seeing more and more creative individuals popping up in this generation such that you find more people working in creative field as interior designer, event manager, actors, writers... and it's a good sign to the development of a provocative society. Don't you think?

I realized too that hanging on to everyday worries, and all that hoping and trying to solve problems really gets in the way of being myself. Not that I am trying to be that carefree and brush away unsolved issues but I feel like, letting go the "you think you had it" thought and just go with the flow is really the key to maintain that normalcy in your brain. Working against the 'flow' brings too much negativity, hence the headache, stress, and health problems ensued.

I am really appreciating the way how studies and creativity is bringing back my 'soul'. I remember being fifteen and seventeen, I was creative and a very happy and go lucky individual. I am now that again, not all and it is already so much fun! Nothing beats going through self revelation on October coz you kinda have a reason to let loose, right?

Now I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving! :) with a new hairdo... Yeah!

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