Your Thoughts are More Powerful than You Think

For a long time, I hate to admit that I was quite bitter with many people in my life so much so that I gave up on friendship and networking because I didn't want to get hurt. I would assume the worst in people when they actually meant well. Even when they reveal their care and love for me, I wasn't willing to let go of that impression I already made up for them. I would think "why are you treating me nice now?" Up to a point I was even revengeful but mostly, I just want them to feel the depth of my sorrow and blame them for my fallings. Soon, I realized the people I surrounded myself with were people of my own thoughts - anger, resent, unforgiving, judgmental and self-critical. And because they mirror what my thoughts were, when I left them, I feel even worse - I feel stupid, disgusted and hatred. Scary!

All that came to an end when I went through some intense self reflection in the mirror. I even went to the length of taking time off from school to recuperate and introspect behaviors and thoughts of self. It wasn't an easy feat to see the person staring back at you in the mirror. All those ugly scars and muddy feelings resurface. However, they are all so necessary to be worked out; I untangled it and found much smoother resolution.

I'm already at a better, brighter place, as you can tell. I'm smiling and feeling optimistic everyday. The idea about what I am, who I am and what I love about myself? That's starting to sound pretty good to me. It began by me shedding all the negative energy I carried. Letting go was not easy, but once I forgive myself, they just come off naturally. Then, I asked for love, by talking to the people I love or doing things I love. I accept all the goodness that comes my way, instead of rejecting. Soon enough, I began to see I was quickly surrounded by like-minded people - subtle, patient, calm, welcoming and loving. When I leave them, I feel peaceful, supported and most importantly, loved.

Even the bossiest or vainest pot that is out there just seem so petty to me. If it bothers me, I asked "what is the point?" It is not my energy and I shall not carry it.

How I did that? This is my method:

Switch resentment to forgiveness.

Switch anger to peace.

Switch hatred to love.

Instead of a stream of hot lava burning in your head, turn that thought to a beautiful stream of clear water with rainbow colors of bubbles and butterflies flying with you above it.

So instead of, "I hate my boss's inferiority. He is so judgmental and stubborn! Doesn't he understand I've already done my best?"

... say to yourself, with intent! "My boss has my forgiveness. At soul level, he is still learning what life has for him. A job is only a job, it doesn't define me. I trust that I do the best for myself and my life. I am protected from any influence that doesn't serve my highest good."

Most importantly, forgive yourself. Then forgive the other person or the situation. Focus on the better side of other people. They will soon learn that the negativity they carry will only feed their ego, and ego for we all know, does not bring you anywhere. Then, move on.

But if you are still with chronically negative beings, it is best that you remove yourself from them.

Your thought is more powerful than you think, dear readers. It shows even when you don't speak. Whether you like it or not, your thoughts can send a vibe to people and it can manifest in many different ways. One of the way it manifest is through how people treat you.

I know it's beginning to sound quite metaphysical here but isn't it true? Not all things can be explained with science but isn't this logical?

I didn't know what I discover for myself was actually an old-discovery of a metaphysical subject.

Have you heard about the Law of Attraction? "It is the belief of that positive and negative thinking bring about positive and negative physical results." - Wikipedia.com

And the reason I wanted to write this today is because I care for all of you. When friends ask for my advice, I wanted to pour everything I know but my brain is so scattered that I probably didn't give out the clearest, understandable words intended. My apology if it was confusing. Here's a chance for me to make it up, in writing and put it in a clearer way for you to understand.

So, what motivated me is that I'd heard too many stories of friends caught up in the cycle of negativity in life - the rat race, the whose got a better car, the who badmouth so and so... It leaves me helpless when people refuse to learn that the more you dwell in negativity, the more the situation will get worse. I can't help you if you don't help yourself. You'll only spiral down into the hole of darkness if you let it. So choose NOT to let it.

Every time you catch yourself thinking negatively like "ah I'm so forgetful, I forgot to buy the onions. I should have brought the list with me. Why didn't I think of looking at the grocery list before I go? sheesh"

Turn it to "I forgot the onions, I'll get it tonight." More productive, ain't it?

It can be solved just by practicing the Law of Attraction. Be nice and nice people will be loving you. Be horrible and horrible people will be attacking you.

Begin by counting your blessings. Focus on what you have than what you don't have. You'll notice you actually have lots of great things already happening in your life. Cherish the things that are working and soon you will find yourself be more at peace with unconditional love. Also, you'll be attracting many positive people who will make you happier. In turn, more fun and wonderful events will take place!

I understand it is not easy to get out of that cycle but you have no idea how easy you can turn your life around once your thoughts are positive. You just need to untangle it with intent!

I'm living proof that it works. Let me know when it works for you!

Happy 4th Anniversary!

Seems like yesterday we celebrated our anniversary in Disneyland. This time, we went to a restaurant in the charming, historic San Juan Capistrano called The Vintage Steakhouse. Never been there before, was doubtful from the outside until my instinct told me to go. We walked into the what is supposedly an old train, and gosh, what a beautiful, elegant setting there! The dining place is inside of an old train cabin adjacent to the bar that is an actual building, connected to it. It is like walking back in time. There's the live jazz band by the bar and the cocktail list is ever so inviting. Service was great, we didn't have to ask for water and food is superb! We had the whole full course there with the waitress informed it was our anniversary. When main course was done, they asked if we had room for dessert. Love to! But we were so stuffed by the big, fat slab of steak and mussels for appetizers. In addition to that, I chowed down almost all of the fresh out of the oven dinner rolls, dipped in goodness of white wine mussel sauce. Gahh!

We were pleasantly surprised when the waitress came by with a big piece of square white plate, with happy anniversary written on it. How sweet! It was complimentary. That makes it sweeter! :) And yes, I clean the plate. Even the words were gone.

The most meaningful anniversary, yet. We did not have any expectation going to the restaurant. We were busy during the day, had a quick shower and headed out. I have no make up on except for mascara and a little bit of foundation. Yew Wai look fine as he is. But I wore a slightly torn knitted blouse I bought 12 years ago. Something I wasn't able to wear for a long, long time and finally was able to! Which I paired it with a pair of shorts and sandals, hair still wet and clip up while eating. We were both clearly underdress. I underestimated the formality of its settings. But that's what makes it more memorable, isn't it? The little details and quirks we make.

Our 4th year now... yep... am feeling it. haha Don't ask infant question.

Hint: The time will come and it is not now! haha

The dessert is the signature little train on the railway track. The blueberries are the wheels. They are crunchy baked phyllo doughs with the cinnamon cream sandwich between, drizzled with caramel and chocolate sauce all over it. Yum!

Garden One Year Later

It's been a while! I took a couple of pictures last weekend and just comparing them to what it is now four days later, the garden is already looking so different! Gotta love the summer sun. :)

Ok, I'll let the pictures do the talking...

It still amazes me to see how much food Mother Earth can provide us through such a small piece of land. I harvest this much of strawberries everyday. At first, I eat all of them but now I'm getting kind of tired of it. Haha But I do keep them in the fridge, store them in a container and hopefully enough for me to start another batch of strawberries sorbet or strawberries jam for that matter.

Here's the list of vegetables and fruits I have growing in the garden now:

Lemon

Orange

Strawberries

Pumpkin

Long Beans

Mint

Kale

Zucchini

Big and small chillies

Bell pepper

Spring onions

Tomato

Herbs

And other ornamental flowers and grass.

What difference it makes to add some color. Relaxing and calming each time we look at it. :)

Back Better, Bigger and Bolder

Hi all,

To anyone still reading my blog, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I've been blessed with so many people, some close and some not so - who loves me, my ideas, thoughts and my writings. It's funny that the moment I felt compelled to revive this blog of mine, I kid you not, there was about 15-20 people asking why I stop blogging. And then some asked "do you have a blog?" Most people say they miss it and some people say, "I just want to know what you do and how you live your life?" I took it as a strong sign convincing me to restart.

I've been compelled to write several months back but the coward me was in constant fear of not wanting to appear 'show off'. I wanted to stay in the mainstream, low-key and be acceptable. I didn't want people to be angry with me because I have it all - the house, the sunny state, the husband, the luxury in life - or so they think. It is the anger, blame and jealousy is what I can't handle. I couldn't face it, I cowardly quit.

Oh... The vanity you might think, but believe me, it did happen. I've gone through issues with people just because I am 'luckier' than everyone else. And because of that reason, I am NOT allowed to be depress or anything lack of. I'm suppose to be responsible to help others out of my own expense.

But what about me? Am I suppose to work and please others until I get sick? Some forget I am only human. Moreover, the life I live and the materials I own deserves to be mine. As selfish as it sounds, I did work for it. Don't I deserve my triumph? It is a decade of hard work. The pictures you see in Facebook? It's only a tiny fraction of my life being portrayed to the public. Ninety percent of it is behind the curtain - working, struggling, pinching pennies, sweating, hurting and just living.

Admittedly, I didn't think I was going to come back writing but because I've learned that was really stupid of me, I said "why should I be less of myself when I can be greater?" I said NO to being a coward. God said I have a gift and it was meant to be shared. My instinct said "just start writing!"

For the past few months, I went through the path of an intense spiritual awakening. I've also been through my lowest low and my highest high - all in the same year. I itch to share with you my experience but I'm told, the time is not ready. Not just yet. But you will soon know.

So because of the intense learning experience, I am now back much stronger, confident and wiser. I'd convinced myself that I rather be loathed for who I really am, than to be loved for who I am not. I am not me if I don't follow my passion, my instinct or my desires. It will make me sick. So I urge that you be you too. And not let your job, your status, your family or even your spouse DEFINE you. No one defines you, other than yourself.

From now on, you will notice that I am back with a better, bigger and bolder version of myself. I have so much to share, dear readers. I am healthier and so much wiser. I feel like an 80 year old woman stuck in a 29 year old body.

And as cheesy as it sounds, I have a big, important mission to fulfill. I'm now writing from a comfortable spot of Seventy-seven telling you this and as I'm still on this learning path, I have no clue to what it is. Sounds epic but no idea. I've only be told it is going to help many and it is going to be huge. It is happening already, in a small scale - I'm seeing the changes. I am preparing myself for it. Lets stroll with me if you like, and experience this together. Lets find out together, what it really is.

I'm happy to be back. Thank you again. You have all been my teachers and I've learned a lot from you. Truthfully. Love and light to all.

Happy 2011

My last few moments of 2010 has gone well as it is ending with lots of joy and love. I wish 2011 would be the same except that I must be reminded to be less hard on myself, work accordingly, rest well and play more.

Happy New Year everyone! :)